If I’m not in style, I might as well be all the way out of style.

If I’m not in style, I might as well be all the way out of style.

Posted on 18. May, 2010 by Andy Ptacek in Beauty (or lack thereof)

There , I said it. Funny thing is when I was a teenager I swore, among many other things, that I’d always be in style. Well, these days function greatly outweighs what actually looks good.

In fact, my favorite wardrobe “trick” I happened to learn when I was pregnant and unshamefuly still sport today. You know what I’m talking about… the rubber band trick. Yeah, I’m super proud that I can fit back into my jeans, but the truth is, they just don’t look the same with the leftover love handles bulging out the sides. AND If I get a bigger size, I’ve got and air butt… so I turned back to the trusty rubber band to keep the fit and relieve the fat… wait… “motherly stores” HAHAHA! (Side note: that’s what one of my pregnancy books called the fat you gain from being prego. It made me feel better at the time, now I just think it’s hilarious.)

So back to my rubber bands… the other night when I was trying to convince my 15-year-old brother that getting gages in his ears are a bad idea because look what happened to my belly button after a piercing (and pregnancy, but hey, I was trying to sway him), I proceeded to pull up my shirt in the middle of the parking lot where we had just finished eating to scare the crap out of him only for the focus to be redirected to my rubber band!

Up until that point, I think I may have still had some cool points leftover from being his cool older sister with the car and cute fiends, but I’m sad to say, I think I’m now just a mom in a weird version of mom jeans to him. I swear I got the look he always gives our mom… the, “you don’t even know what you’re talking about” look. Yeah, well… at least my love handles are comfortable! Take that!

If I’m not in style, I might as well be all the way out of style.Share

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