My husband pointed out how different our first OB appointment was from when we went with our first son, Tavin. This time when they gave me that big purple baby bag I was sort of embarrassed by its obviousness and when we were walking out into the waiting room we were already talking about what to make for dinner and chores to finish that day… a far cry from the ear to ear grin and kissy-faced couple we were two and a half years ago.

Yes we were trying and yes we have no idea what we are getting ourselves into! Some days I think, what the heck did I do?! Other days I get all goo-goo ga-ga over the fact that my new baby has now surpassed the size of a grape and has fingers and toes!

I know this is going to change my work/life schedule and I also know that the only way to figure out what the new schedule will be is practice. I’m assuming that there will be less time for everything. Ok now I’m freaking out again!

It’s so crazy the mixed emotions I have. I’m all in love and all scared all at the same time.

1. Bringing back the fanny pack
2. Using baby’s butt ointment as chap stick
3. Dancing like a spaz to the Fresh Beat Band
4. Feeding a baby while peeing at the same time
5. Trying breast milk… and liking it!
6. Baby-talk on speaker phone in the store
7. Trying out a leash on your kid
8. Giving a teething kid a lollipop
9. Telling your kid his Halloween candy is medicine so he won’t eat it (it’s sounds worse to say it out loud)
10. A minivan

Jokes aside, we rarely curse… I can’t believe THIS is the word he decides to mimic. My husband had been telling me that Tavin, my son, was saying the F word, but I kept telling him he must be mistaken.  Then I heard it for myself, perfectly enunciating the “fff” and the “ckkk.”

This all took place as we (my husband, son and I) were jammed in like sardines at a Paradise Bakery. You know what I’m talking about… The tables are so close the person next to you has to rub their butt across the side of your table to get to theirs. Well anyway, we just got our food and as I started to unwrap his sandwich, my sweet little boy YELLED fuck, fuck, FUCK! …and then a few more F-bombs as I tried to compose myself like a kid with the giggles at church.

I was speechless! I was the mom with the unruly child! What do you say to that? …”Oh honey, where ever did you learn to say such a word?!”

Now it’s a regular, daily occurrence to hear him drop F-bombs. In fact, this morning I heard him saying it through the monitor first thing when he woke up. I really don’t think he actually knows what he’s saying or how to use it because he says it when he’s happy, mad, pointing at something, walking around, jibber jabbing… whatever. I’ve tried “replacing” the word in his vocabulary by correcting him to say FUN, but it’s barely working.

Does anyone else have a sailor-mouthed child or have dealt with a situation like this before? How can I fix this?! I really don’t want to get a note home from Sunday school…

The Safe Haven Law is a measure to protect babies. It is a safe alternative for mothers who, for whatever reason, need to give up their baby immediately. This law is to protect babies from the unthinkable, to give them a second chance and in my opinion, is a blessing in and of itself.  

It is true that this is an unfortunate circumstance and yes, the reality here is very sad, but thankfully it’s not the end to this baby’s story.

It was like I had a new child. Apparently I just needed to slow down and put first things first. It was a little shaky working out the kinks, but all in all I decided that Tavin was being a normal baby this whole time and I was the one who needed to be put in check. I am so glad I recognized this and hope whenever anyone in our family starts to get off kilter we can be in tune enough to notice and work it out.

Now, the reason I titled this post “That’s the thing about unconditional love…” is because I think it’s important to note that I never stopped loving my baby like crazy. Even during this hard time, there were still some good times and most nights I still got my kiss from him at bedtime. This parenting thing is harder than I ever imagined, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I can say with 99.9% certainty that I am done having babies, or I guess I should say baby. As in, we have one and now we’re done. This little family of three feels just right to me.

Oh, the horror! Say it isn’t so!

Was it a rough pregnancy? Did something happen during labor? Did you guys have a hard time getting pregnant the first time? Oh, was she a difficult, colicky baby?  Is it because she’s in the terrible twos right now? These are just a few of the (somewhat annoying) questions I often have to field. Not that I mind when they come from people I’m close to, but more often they seem to come unsolicited from strangers. I even got the “it’s time to start working on the next one” comment from the freakin’ pest control guy today! Really? What the hell does it matter to him how many times my husband and I choose to reproduce?!?! Just spray for bugs and move on, please! Who’s the real pest here? Ugh.

Not that I truly feel any obligation to answer those who ask, but no, I had a very easy pregnancy (even if I wasn’t one of those women who feel their most beautiful with a bun in the oven – can you hear the click-clack of my eyes rolling around right now?); delivery was by no means easy but it wasn’t traumatic, either; our daughter has been nothing short of a dream baby and a wonderful toddler; and, no, there were no problems getting out of the starting gate… just to clear the air there.

Then there’s the “well-meaning” mom of eight I ran into at the park the other day, trying to convince a woman she literally just met that having an only child is somehow mean and selfish. Do you think I haven’t considered the argument that my husband and I will someday be gone and then my daughter will have no one? Weak. Is that even a legitimate reason to bring another person into this world – so my daughter can have a playmate and someone to watch mom and dad grow old with? Does having siblings somehow ensure that you’ll never have a lonely moment ever in your life?

Here’s how I see it:

My plan is to help this little child learn good social skills and grow up to be a kind, caring and intelligent adult. I hope this translates into many fulfilling relationships. She’ll have best friends that will feel like sisters or brothers to her. She has cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents. It’s not like she’s being raised in complete solitude just because she’s an only child. And someday (hopefully a day that won’t come too quickly), she’ll find a life partner and likely have a family of her own, the size of which will be their choosing. Isn’t that who will be there for her when we no longer are?

Will she look back and wish she had a brother or sister in her life, someone to complain about mom and dad with, someone to have her back no matter what? Possibly. But will she know that she was loved and appreciated just as much as any other kid? Most definitely.

Sometimes I start to feel like there may be something wrong with me because so few people seem to share my feelings on having just one kid. There are many reasons for my husband and I coming to the conclusion that we’re good on the kid front but the important thing is that we agree on it. We’re very happy with the status quo. I love being a mom more than anything and I’ve enjoyed every phase of the journey so far, but I never get that pang when I see a baby that I want to do it again.

I know I left the door open a sliver with my 99.9% assuredness of being done so I’ll never say never. But, for now, life is perfect just the way it is. Anyone else out there happy to be a mom of one? Do you get people trying to convince you all the time that you HAVE to have more?

A few days later I opened the microwave again and it hit me like a ton of bricks… “I know what a MOM would think if they opened up my microwave… they’d think I was too darn busy being a good mom to worry about such a silly thing as how clean my microwave was!”

So to all us moms who just don’t have time for such “silly things,” feel good about that!

Here’s the series description below and for more info on *checking out* Kurt this weekend, click here.

The Revolution is underway! But in this new era, how can parents make a lasting impact in the spiritual lives of their children? To find the answer, watch “Revolutionary Parenting”, a 4-week series discussing the key factors that will make a difference in building your child’s character and personal faith.

Babies Links:

Official Web site

Facebook Fan page

Movie Trailer

1. I could bring sexy back. Seriously girls, I don’t know if it’s stress or Tavin eating all my food lately, but I freakin fit in my skinny jeans again! HOWEVER, I’m still quite squishy. If I had this stroller I could run AND bike with Tavin and grasp that one small chance to look hot in a bathing suit before summer.
2. I’d get to see that silly little grin that Tavin gets when the wind is in his hair. I can’t wait to see the look on his face when I buckle him in this hot rod. He’ll be giggling and saying “what’s that” every 5 seconds.
3. Our annual beach trip will be less work and more fun. Have you ever tried to push a Chico through the sand? We did last year… no bueno. This bad boy has rubber tires and I suspect will make lugging all our stuff and Tavin across the beach a cinch.
4. I could run in the rain again! I have this great memory of me and a girlfriend who after working out, we were running out of the gym and decided how fun it would be to just keep running… it was so exhilarating and I can’t tell you how amazing it is to do this. You must try it. With a baby attached to my hip, I never thought this would be a reality for quite a long time (and probably not as cute to see an old lady running in the rain!). BUT, with this stroller, I can securely zip the weather shield and keep Tavin cozy with blankets and slippers while I run like a crazy person.
5. Even if I don’t bring sexy back and Tavindoesn’t care at all about the wind blowing through his hair, the stroller gets stuck in the sand and the rain leaks through the weather shield, I’ll still feel good knowing that I’m giving it my best shot to be a fit, fun mommy with the help of this red beauty.